


Waves (and everything that was left unsaid).

by devinemoon



Series: Sea: the sand, the stars and me, a lonely sailor. [2]
Category: NCT (Band), WAYV
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Happy Ending, Hope, How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-25
Updated: 2020-09-25
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:28:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26646022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/devinemoon/pseuds/devinemoon
Summary: "(...)It took some time to realize that the small waves coming at me were actually warning me from the tidal wave that was to come.I never noticed it.(or maybe I did, but I was convinced it wouldn't harm me as much as it did)."
Relationships: Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Qian Kun
Series: Sea: the sand, the stars and me, a lonely sailor. [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1938652
Comments: 9
Kudos: 35





	Waves (and everything that was left unsaid).

**Author's Note:**

> Hello and welcome to the leave me to drown sequel I accidentally wrote last night instead of sleeping :D I'm actually really excited to post this one. 
> 
> Playlist:  
> a sad night - code kunst  
> love is a flower -colde  
> don't leave me, my love - colde  
> empty note (acoustic) - ghostly kisses

"We're now live with Li Yongqin, better known as Ten, the author of _" **Sea: the sand, the stars and me, a lonely sailor."** _ Ten, thank you so much for coming." 

"Thank you so much for inviting me, it's truly an honor to be here. And thank you everyone for coming." 

"Your newest book caused a massive positive reaction and the readers all over the word couldn't help but talk about it. It was trending on twitter for almost a whole week and was called a book filled with things we're too scared to say. Can you tell us what it is about?" 

The camera cuts to the live audience inside the small studio, some of them hold the white book in their hands, the press takes notes while looking at the man sitting on the high chair. 

Is he nervous? That's a pretty big audience. But he can handle it, right? It's Ten, Ten who has a big passion for everything he does. Even if it takes him out of his comfort zone. 

Ten clears his throat and takes a deep breath before answering. 

"I think the book is about whatever you need it to be, or rather, whoever you want it to be about. 

When I wrote it a couple of years ago, it was basically my journal. And I think everyone can sense it, because the book as well as the main character grows with every new chapter you read. At the time I wasn't really thinking about what I wanted the readers to feel, it was about what I felt and what I was going through. 

I was going through a rough patch in my past relationship, and I felt so lonely that the only thing I could do was talk to myself, or write it down in an old notebook I bought years before.

Its scent is the same as it was before being transcripted from blurry ink and old paper into a hardcover book with ink you can actually read and new paper." 

He nods at the last sentence, it's almost like he's watching his past self finding that notebook all over again and writing all over it. 

"The readers are curious, could we assume it's about a past lover, maybe?" The woman asks him, cautiously. 

"For me, it is. But if someone else inside this studio feels like it's about a part of themselves they have trouble with, it can also be about that. It is, again, about whatever and whoever you want it to be. That's what it was meant to be." 

The woman nods and the sounds of whispering coming from the audience rises through the previous silence. 

"We're excited to hear more about the book, there will also be a q&a in a little bit, but first we will take small requests from fans on twitter." 

Ten picks a small paper from the clear box the woman offers him, unfolding it with an excited smile over his lips. 

"@wildlilies asks: What's Ten's favorite chapter and can he please read his favorite part of it?" 

The audience makes a surprised and excited sound, Ten smiles at them as he nods in agreement. A small _"oh, so this was the right question?"_ from him makes the audience and the woman giggle. 

"I think my favorite chapter is chapter 34: About the sea and the words written in the sand." He doesn't hesitate to answer. "And sure, let me read a little bit for you." 

  
  
  


_"(...)It took some time to realize that the small waves coming at me were actually warning me from the tidal wave that was to come._

_I never noticed it._

_(or maybe I did, but I was convinced it wouldn't harm me as much as it did)._

_This gigantic wave threw itself at me and for a moment I still hoped the crashing sounds I heard were from the boulders colliding with the water and not from our own relationship being washed away by the sea._

_Words float, and know how to swim. The night before I left and while looking at the sink full of water I swear I could see everything that was left unsaid float around the soapy water, making fun of me for being too optimistic, making fun of us for being so scared of loneliness we had to go through years of tragedies to realize that that, whatever it was at that point, was the result of constant worries over a future that maybe we never realized wasn't for us._

_Words float and know how to swim. If only they were there when the big tidal wave washed us away from the land we called comfort, from every little grain of sand we used as excuses for us to stay together._

_And when the wave hit us, something received the impact instead of me._

_You see, just as I heard the sound of the wave coming I realized that it was better for it to take me away. Away from this house, away from the constant wondering, from the silence. From you, who I loved the most._

_I was surprised when the big tidal way did nothing but gently caress me like you never did, it kissed me on the forehead and told me she would take me away, floating tenderly. Because the wave was not so much of a wave but rather the inner me finally understanding what I had to do._

_I love you so much, that it keeps me away from blaming it on you. On you and your busy days, on you and your neverending schedule, on you and every date night you forgot._

_I wish I could've screamed at you as soon as the small waves started coming, I wish I would've let myself be heard over the music playing on your headphones._

_Turns out every single note was a skeleton hidden inside the closet. And every bone was just about every word you couldn't say and turned into melodies. Melodies that I still hear every time I go back to the sea."_

Mixed emotions make their way through the studio, some of joy, some of sorrow. And some others take the time just to feel, even if they're not sure about what they should be feeling. 

You can see the audience cry as he finishes reading, some of the reporters have stopped writing and they look at him instead, all eyes on him. 

Him, who Kun could never really understand. Until one day, he did. 

Maybe too late. 

The interview keeps going, Ten shares with everyone bits and pieces of what it was like writing the book, he shares funny stories, scary stories. Everything keeps the audience entertained, and the rest of the segment passes quickly. 

"We can have one last question. Ten, would you mind choosing someone from the audience?" 

"Sure!" He gets up from the chair and walks around the small stage, making sure to look at everyone in the eye before choosing someone from the left corner of the studio. "Hi, what's your name and your question?" 

He goes back to sitting down as the staff passes the boy a microphone. 

"Hi, my name is Xiaojun. My question for you is, what took you so long to decide you wanted to publish and share your old journal with the world?" 

Ten smiles gently, biting his lip and he focuses on the letters from the hardcover of his book. He traces them with his fingers once, so gently it could pass as him brushing dust off of the book. 

"I wanted to personally hand him one of the first copies we produced, and to do that I had to let myself heal." He looks back at the boy from the audience. "When I did, it was like conquering my biggest fears: change, and heartbreak." 

A couple of minutes after, the live stream finishes successfully. Kun stares at the screen without saying a word. 

On his lap, a book. **Sea** **_: the sand, the stars and me, a lonely sailor._ **

And on the first page, a handwritten note. 

_To Kun,_

_Who now I know was just as incapable of noticing the tidal wave awaiting for us. And who I still love, dearly._

_-L.Y._

**Author's Note:**

> @10velyfebruary on twt


End file.
